


Baby Let's Play House

by onceuponatime



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M, cal and mikey babysit, i needed daddy malum, its just fluff, this is disgusting self indulgent fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 16:47:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5213384
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onceuponatime/pseuds/onceuponatime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Children hate me, Calum! What if she screams from the second Mali drops her off until the second she leaves because she can sense my fear?” Michael argues, stealing the remote from Calum and switching the television to Boomerang. He smiles a little when he sees Tom and Jerry is playing, and Calum rolls his eyes because he’s dating an actual child. <br/>Calum pinches the leg that Michael has thrown over his thighs. “That won’t happen.”<br/>Michael huffs and tickles the skin under Calum’s t-shirt in retaliation. “What if we break her? Children don’t come cheap and I can’t afford to buy your sister a new one.”</p>
<p>basically Calum and Michael babysit</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby Let's Play House

**Author's Note:**

> Here's some self indulgent malum fluff. It sucks but here it is anyway. I just needed Malum and a baby.   
> Title is from Elvis Presley song of the same name. God, I love Elvis.   
> Anyway, Malum

Calum should really have asked first, he realises that now. But he honestly didn’t think that Michael would freak out this much. It’s only babysitting, and they’ve spent a lot of time visiting Mali since she had baby Ellie so Calum was pretty confident that Michael would be cool with watching her for a while. But then again, Michael never really holds her without Calum being within an inch of them and passes her over the second she makes a noise of discomfort, but he didn’t think Michael would actually panic at the prospect of minding a baby for a little over twenty four hours while Mali attends a high school friend’s wedding.

“Children hate me, Calum! What if she screams from the second Mali drops her off until the second she leaves because she can sense my fear?” Michael argues, stealing the remote from Calum and switching the television to Boomerang. He smiles a little when he sees Tom and Jerry is playing, and Calum rolls his eyes because he’s dating an actual child.

Calum pinches the leg that Michael has thrown over his thighs. “That won’t happen.”

Michael huffs and tickles the skin under Calum’s t-shirt in retaliation. “What if we break her? Children don’t come cheap and I can’t afford to buy your sister a new one.”

“She’s my niece, Michael, everything’ll be okay.” On the screen Jerry drops an iron on Tom’s head, and both boys on the sofa flinch when a massive red lump grows from the top of the cat’s head. “Please?”Calum asks, turning to Michael and batting his eyelashes, bottom lip sticking out. He knows Michael can’t say no to this look, and he feels a little bad using it, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

“Okay, okay!” Michael exclaims, throwing his hands in the air exasperatedly. “You’re an asshole, you know I can’t say no when you look at me like that, dammit! But if she climbs out of her crib and escapes, you better be prepared to take the full blame.”

“She’s three months old. She can’t sit up on her own, but she will _definitely_ be able to climb out of her crib, unlock our front door somehow, and escape out into the Sydney wilderness where she will be carried off by a pack of dingoes.”

“As long as you’re willing to take the blame if it does happen, then I’m more than happy to babysit,” Michael shrugs.

*~*

Calum’s in the middle of eating his lunch when he hears the doorbell ringing, so shoves the rest of the sandwich into his mouth before walking down the hall to the front door. When he passes the sitting room, he can hear Michael’s video game playing, so he raps the door hard and pushes it open to let Michael know they have guests before going to let his sister in. There’s an abrupt silence when Michael pauses the game, but it’s soon filled by Mali talking one hundred miles a minute the second the door is opened and she steps over the threshold.

“Hello, to you too, Mali,” Calum laughs taking the baby bag from her and waving into the carry seat at Ellie, who just stares at him and sucks on her pacifier.

He feels Michael slide in behind him and place a soft hand on his waist. “Lookin’ good, Mal,” he says before placing a gentle kiss on Calum’s temple, and then goes out the door to help Joe with the rest of the bags he’s pulling out of the trunk. Calum can feel his face reddening, and purposefully ignores the smirk Mali is sending in his direction.

Mali moves the carry seat from one hand to the other and heads into the sitting room while Calum waits to see if Michael needs help carrying the stuff, but he seems to be managing fine, smiling at something Joe is saying as they walk up the driveway. “What could we possibly need four bags of baby stuff for?” Michael whispers when he walks past Calum to dump the stuff into their bedroom. Calum chuckles and follows his sister.

Joe sticks his head into the sitting room when Calum is shoving away Michael’s games. “Hon, as soon as I put this travel cot up we gotta go, otherwise we’ll be late.”

Mali nods, and sets about unbuckling the straps on Ellie’s travel seat and pulling her into her arms. Calum can’t help but smile at how much she looks like her mother, soft tanned skin and big brown eyes that are going to have everyone wrapped around her little finger. “Okay, so she’ll need to be fed every few hours. Don’t worry about when, she’ll let you know when she’s hungry. Bottles are in the bag, diapers too, and Binky. That’s the rabbit. She won’t sleep without Binky. She’s also going through a really fussy phase right now where if you leave her alone for too long she’ll scream the house down. But other than that, you guys should be fine.”

Calum moves the carry seat onto the floor so he can sit down beside Mali, just as Michael walks into the sitting room. He spots Ellie curled up on Mali’s lap, and Calum can actually see the panic wash over his face. Mali does too, because she laughs and says “Mike, you’re looking a little green.” Michael begins to speak, but Mali cuts him off with another giggle. “Look, you guys will be great. All she does is eat and sleep.”

“I’m used to dealing with that, I live with Michael,” Calum says, laughing when Michael whines out a ‘heeey’.

“Alright,” Joe says, stepping into the room. “Cot’s set up in your room. Mal, we really gotta go, we should have been on the road fifteen minutes ago.” Mali casts her eyes down to her daughter, and Calum’s sure he sees her try to wipe away a tear without anyone noticing. He scoots closer to her and holds his arms out for Ellie. Mali gives her a kiss on the forehead before handing her over.

“This is the first time I’m gonna be away from her,” she says, wiping at her eyes again. “Ignore me, I’m being stupid.”

“Hey,” Calum says soothingly. “Enjoy yourself and have a good night’s sleep. Me and Michael have got everything under control.” Michael laughs and Calum sends him a look that says ‘what the fuck?’. “Anyway, Ellie is gonna have a great time with uncle Cal and uncle Mikey.”

*~*

Calum has Ellie laying on their bed, leaning over her and blowing raspberries onto her pudgy little tummy, heart swelling when she giggles and sends a big gummy smile up at him. He’s buttoning her romper suit when Michael walks into the bedroom and stretches out on the bed beside her, holding out a finger that she automatically grabs, and squeals in delight when he tickles her belly.

“You wanna come shopping with us?” Calum asks, rummaging through one of the bags for a coat and a few blankets.

Michael groans, but when Calum looks at him he’s smiling, wiggling the finger that Ellie has a grip of and making funny faces at her. “Why can’t we just keep her here? Where she’s in relative safety?” It’s almost as if Ellie knows they’re talking about her, because she starts laughing and reaching out to tug at Michael’s flaming red hair.

“C’mon,” Calum pleads, starting to put Ellie’s coat on. “It’ll be cute. We can play happy family. Now go put on jeans.”

“Fine,” Michael sighs, pulling himself off the bed and stretching before heading into the bathroom. “But I don’t see why we can’t play happy family in our safe living room.”

Calum smiles, picking Ellie up and carrying her into the sitting room where her carry seat is. When he passes the bathroom he shouts “Go put the stroller in the car!”

*~*

After struggling with the stroller in the car park for about half an hour (an old lady had to help them set it up, and she congratulated them on a beautiful baby. Calum went to correct her, but Michael cut in before him, saying thanks and smiling brightly) and fighting over who got to push the stroller (“You got to hold her all day!” “Because you’re afraid to hold her!” “And this way I don’t have to worry about dropping her!”) they finally manage to make it into the mall.

Calum gave in eventually and let Michael take over stroller duty, which was somewhat of a mistake because he’s as good at steering a stroller as he is at driving a car (which is shockingly bad), and he’s already ran over a few people’s toes. But Calum can’t help staring at him, at the way Michael looks into the pram every couple of seconds and smiles at Ellie, at how he looks like such a _dad_. Calum’s heart grows every time Michael puffs out his cheeks and makes Ellie giggle, or when he reaches over the handlebar to give her back the pacifier she spat out.  

He snakes his arm around Michael’s waist and rests his head on his shoulder. Even though it’s awkward to walk like that, Calum makes it work. He gets butterflies in his stomach when Michael plants a kiss on the top of his head, like a school boy with a crush instead of a twenty five year old in a long term relationship.  

“C’mon,” he says, tugging Michael in the direction of the grocery shop. “We gotta pick up some food.”

“Actually, I was gonna go into the game shop and get...”

“You can do that after, come with me.” Michael rolls his eyes and pushes the stroller in the direction of the food store. Calum’s phone buzzes in his pocket, and when he replies to Mali’s text demanding a status report on her daughter, he looks up to see Michael has somehow managed to sneak off. With the baby. “Son of a bitch,” Calum mumbles, but grabs a basket anyway and starts picking out vegetables.

Twenty minutes later, with white plastic bags swinging from the crook of his elbow, he makes his way to the game store, which _obviously_ has to be on the other side of the mall. Michael isn’t there. It’s not like Calum could miss him; he’s over six foot tall with red hair and a baby. He’d be pretty easy to spot.

He exits the store and pulls his phone out of his pocket, hitting one on speed dial to call Michael. Just as he holds it up to his ear, he can see Michael making his way towards him, bags of his own swinging from the handles of the pram.

“Where the Hell did you go?” Calum asks when Michael is close enough.

Michael just shrugs. “Ellie wanted to go to Hot Topic.”

“You didn’t,” Calum groans, eyeing the bags suspiciously.

“Look, I know she’ll grow out of them ridiculously quick, but I didn’t even know they _made_ My Chemical Romance t-shirts that small, Cal!” And teeny little Converse! Look!” Calum takes the tiny My Chemical Romance shirt Michael thrusts at him, and the Metallica one. And the AC/DC and Green Day ones, too.

When Michael starts pulling out small little flannels, Calum laughs. “You _do_ know we have to give her back to Mali, right?”

Michael just throws  a small pair of black skinnies at his face.

*~*

When they get back to the house, Michael gets a phone call from his mom, so Calum’s left to put the food away in the kitchen. He turns on some music, the Foo Fighters album he was listening to starting up again, and he places Ellie on the floor in her carry seat until he’s finished. He sings and dances whenever he passer her, putting a lot more effort than necessary into it, but her little girly giggles and full belly laughs are totally worth it.

When he’s done, he unbuckles the seat and lifts her out, swaying her softly to Best of You as eyes that are so much like his own stare up at him. The song is just on the last chorus when Michael walks in, leaning in to kiss Calum on the cheek and run his hand softly through Ellie’s dark, baby-fine hair. “What you doin’?” Michael asks, nuzzling his face into Calum’s hair.

“Nothing, just about to start dinner. What did your mom want?”

“We’re going out for dinner with her and dad next week,” Michael says into the skin of Calum’s neck before he leaves a soft kiss there.

“Cool. I haven’t seen them in so long.” Calum pulls away from Michael, and Michael protests, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him back.

“Don’t go. I was comfy.”

“I gotta put Ellie down in her cot so I can start dinner,” Calum says, laughing, but he rests his head back against Michael’s shoulder instead of moving away.

“I can watch her,” Michael offers. “Unless you want me to help with dinner?”

“No thank you, I want to be able to eat it. So here, take her. Go bond.” He passes Ellie over to Michael, wearing a smile so big he’s afraid his face is going to crack as he watches Michael carry his niece into the sitting room, cooing nonsense at her and giggling when Ellie coos back.

*~*

Calum’s glad that Michael has gotten over his fear of accidentally murdering Mali’s daughter. It’s too cute to watch as Michael plays video games with Ellie passed out on his chest, sucking on her little fist, or when he lays on the floor with her and plays with her tiny xylophone or her teddies.

He expects Michael to panic and hand Ellie over when she starts wailing, heartbroken little sobs ripping from her chest and face turning pink. He doesn’t, though. He props Ellie up on his shoulder, rubbing her back, and tells Calum to go heat up a bottle.

He even changes one of her diapers.

Calum is speechless. And so, so in love.

*~*

Ellie wakes just after midnight. It startles Calum for a minute because his sleep clouded brain forgot he was babysitting, and he has no idea why there’s a screaming baby in his bedroom. Before he even has to fully wake up, Michael is leaning over and pressing a soft kiss to his forehead, whispering “It’s okay, I got it. Go back to sleep.” Calum feels a little guilty, but Michael seemed eager enough, so he just rolls over and buries his face in Michael’s pillow, the familiar smell of his shampoo and hair product lulling him back into sleep.

Just as he’s about to doze off again, his phone goes off and the screen lights up to tell him he has a message. He curses whoever the Hell is texting him this late, but then worries in case it’s an emergency, so he reaches over to pluck his phone from the nightstand. The brightness of the screen blinds him for a second before his eyes adjust as he reads a text from Mali, asking him to unlock the door and let her in.

Bleary eyed and clad only in his boxers and one of Michael’s old t-shirts he trudges to the front door and unlocks it. The second he has it open, Mali is pushing inside, emerald evening dress swaying behind her. Calum pokes his head out the door and waves at Joe, who’s still sitting in the car.

“I needed to see her. You probably think I’m nuts, but God I missed her. Is she sleeping?”

Calum shakes his head, yawning and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Michael’s feeding her.”

Mali’s heading in the direction of the kitchen before Calum even finishes his sentence. It takes him a few seconds to process what just happened before he’s following her, bumping into her as she stands in the doorway.

“What-“

“Look,” she says, and moves aside so Calum can see whatever it is that made that sickeningly fond expression come over her face.

Michael is standing in the centre of the kitchen, back to them, as he sways gently from side to side, Ellie cuddled up in his arms. He’s singing softly, a slow version of what Calum recognises as Come On Eileen. His heart melts a little bit when Michael changes the words to Ellie, voice low and quiet as he tries to get her to fall back asleep.

Mali coughs, and Calum pointedly ignores the smirk she’s sending his way. Instead, he walks over to his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around his waist and resting his chin on Michael’s shoulder. From this angle he can see Ellie’s eyes, heavy with sleep, drooping shut.

Michael stops singing. “How long have you been standing there?” He sounds a little embarrassed, so Calum squeezes him tighter.

“Long enough,” Calum says, placing a soft kiss just under Michael’s ear.

“Do you think Mali would notice if we kept her?” Michael says, turning his head a little to the side so he can look at Calum. There’s still a line down his cheek from where it was pressed against the pillow, and Calum can’t help but lean forward and kiss it.

“We should get our own,” Calum says.

Michael blinks, his mouth dropping open. “Don’t say that. Not if you don’t mean it.”

“I _do_ mean it. I wanna have a kid with you.”

Michael just smiles and nods, looking back down at the sleeping baby in his arms.  

**Author's Note:**

> I'm aware how sucky that was but anyway   
> come say hi on tumblr -> t1mburton and we can talk about malum and the colour of Michael's lips because they're insanely pretty and it's not fair


End file.
